Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
