You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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