Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
