just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
