I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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