when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
