Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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