Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
