in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
