im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
