He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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