Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
