why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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