Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
