Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
