I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
