It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
