i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
