you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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