It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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