i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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