It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
