tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
