If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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