What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
