You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
