Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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