areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
