what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
