I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
