I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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