there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
