Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
