Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
