You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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