Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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(360): View more from Washington

is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?

(503): View more from Oregon

Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?

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(720): View more from Colorado

I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.

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(631): View more from New York

So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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(863): View more from Florida

I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy

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(604): View more from British Columbia

He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.

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(815): View more from Illinois

so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club

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(361): View more from Texas

Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"

(517): View more from Michigan

Wear something tight

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo

(330): View more from Ohio

Like I don't even know how to respond to this?

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