Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I supernannyed him into submission
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
