Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
