Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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