just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
