Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
