Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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