So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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