Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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