I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
