how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
