She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
