he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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