How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
