the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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