No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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