Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
